Physicians and social isolation

The image of a doctor is often seen as someone successful, strong and resilient—a white-coated hero always ready to heal, comfort and save lives. However, behind this idealized image lies a common, hidden truth: loneliness.Doctors dedicate their lives to others, often leaving little to no time or energy for themselves. The long years of medical school, exhausting residencies and busy demanding schedules make forming actual relationships difficult. While their peers build friendships, families and enjoy life’s adventures, doctors are buried in textbooks or working exhausting shifts.When doctors progress in their careers, the sacrifices continue. Many miss out on family dinners, social gatherings or even basic self-care like proper meals and rest. This relentless cycle drains their capacity for connection, leading to isolation.The emotional burden of their work compounds this loneliness. Doctors witness loss, suffering and death, carrying these memories with them. Though trained to remain composed, they are not immune to the toll it takes. The grief of a dying patient or the pain of a devastated family leaves lasting scars.Read: Dr. Jabir Jassam: How much of perceived discrimination is actually real?Sharing these feelings is difficult. Those outside the profession often cannot fully understand, leaving doctors to suppress their emotions and withdraw further. Society’s expectation of them as unshakable protectors makes admitting to loneliness or sadness feel like a threat to their perceived competence. As a result, many silently endure their struggles.This loneliness affects all areas of their lives. Romantic relationships are strained by the demands of the job, with doctors often too exhausted to connect meaningfully with their partners or children. Friendships fade as chaotic schedules and emergencies disrupt plans. Over time, even retired doctors can feel disconnected from the relationships they once cherished.The consequences are not just emotional but physical. Doctors know the health risks of loneliness—depression, anxiety, high blood pressure and weakened immunity—but the relentless stress of their work increases these dangers. Loneliness and burnout, already rampant in the profession, lead to a loss of enthusiasm, increased errors, and in some cases, drive doctors to leave the field.The worst suicide rate of all professions is for doctors, an ominous reminder of how much that work is personally expensive. Many doctors keep their professional lives separate and don’t hang out with patients in order to maintain their professional etiquette. However, this can sometimes unintentionally contribute to feelings of isolation for physicians. On one occasion, I politely explained to a patient that I could not attend his son's wedding due to professional boundaries. Though I had apologised profusely and in the most polite way, it didn’t sit well with the patient and his family and they eventually left my practice. A friend had a small birthday party one day and I was invited. To get there, I got into a fender bender and was delayed. When I arrived, I found six friends already there. They asked me why I was late, so I started explaining how I was stopped at a traffic light when someone hit my car. Before I could finish my story, one of them interrupted me, saying, “As long as you’re here with us, it means you’re fine.” He didn’t let me continue. Then he added, “When we heard you were coming, we prepared lots of questions and consultations for you.”They began asking me one question after another, even though they all had their own family doctors. They insisted on getting my opinion. Once they were done, we finally cut the birthday cake, and soon after, everyone left. My friend apologized for the endless questions but smiled and said, “A doctor is always a doctor, no matter where they go.”I hope, one day, despite all of what I mentioned above, people will realize that, behind the white coat is a person who sacrifices deeply to help others live and doctors, too, need love, care, and understanding just as much as anyone else.Dr. Jabir Jassam is a family physician in Ottawa.

Physicians and social isolation

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